Planet of the Apes

It seems that more and more classic science fiction movies are getting a makeover.  Star Wars had its prequel trilogy.  Star Trek is getting a shot in the arm with Abrams and a younger cast, and soon Star Wars will get similar treatment.  Now Planet of the Apes is getting revamped with CGI apes all set off by James Franco.  But before all this new stuff happened, there was the original.

In 1968, Planet of the Apes began a new era of science fiction.  We meet a space mission crew who has been drifting through the galaxy for over a year, that would be over 2000 years on Earth.  They crash land on a strange looking planet and wander until they find wild men who are hunted by ape people.  George Taylor (Charlton Heston) and his surviving crew are rounded up and thought to be mute and wild, like the other humans, until Taylor can finally speak.  Taylor’s intelligence sets off a fierce trial and debate within the ape society and reveals a conspiracy that could rock the ape’s world.

Throughout my youth, I unfairly wrote off Planet of the Apes for two silly reasons.  One: I thought the ape masks were awful.  From the clips and scenes I had seen, the masks did not convince me at all.  How foolish.  Today I find a sincere appreciation of the artistry that went into creating such a one-of-a-kind look.  And my second reason for not seeing this movie sooner: an episode of The Simpsons ruined the ending for me.  You know the one, I can still hear Troy McCLure singing the last few lines completely ruining the surprise ending.  “You finally made a monkey out of me!”

But what terrible excuses for someone who claims to be a film fanatic.  Even though I knew the big surprise ending, I found the film enjoyable and engrossing.  The tension between when Taylor is captured and when he finally speaks is wonderful, and may be my favorite part of the film.  I also enjoyed the evolution vs creationism ideas present in this post-human world.  And the set design is felt so authentic, and at times I felt that it could have been used later for Flintstones movies.  And I don’t mean that as an insult.

During the Oscar season, Planet of the Apes was not forgotten.  It was nominated for two awards: costume design and music.  The film won neither award, but it was awarded an honorary Oscar for outstanding achievement in makeup.  A category for makeup would not part of the Academy Awards until 1981.  Shows how much my younger self could see in those elaborate ape masks.

I realize some readers, especially younger ones, may have seen the new Planet of the Apes prequels that have been coming out recently before the original or any of the classic sequels.  I’m sad to say, that I too am guilty of this cinematic sin.  I saw Rise before this.  However, it’s easy to enjoy each film on its own, at least I try not to beat myself up too much over this error.  The original Planet of the Apes is one of the sci-fi greats and deserves a view from all film fans.

“Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!”

The Ten Commandments

Jewish and Christian children start hearing tales of Moses at an early age.  As they get older, they might be quizzed over naming the Ten Commandments.  Get them in the right order and there might be extra credit.  And every Easter or Passover they might be sat down to watch this film, but I hope their parents brought extra jelly beans or matzoh, cause thee hours is can really make these kids feel like they’ve been in bondage for four hundred years.

The story on film doesn’t deviate much from Exodus.  Because the Pharaoh has ordered all the male babies to be slain, Moses’ mother puts him in a basket and sets him floating down the Nile in hope that he will be saved.  He is found by Pharaoh’s sister, who hides the fact that he is Hebrew and proclaims that he is her child.  Skip forward to Moses (Charlton Heston) in adulthood, a proud Prince of Egypt who’s just returned from Ethiopia.  Ramses (Yul Brynner) and Moses kinda share the same girlfriend and Moses is in charge of building a city.

Anyway, it takes about an hour or so to get past the exposition and to where Moses learns that he’s actually Hebrew and is sent to the desert.  He miraculously survives, meets a family, becomes accepted by them and learns about the God of Abraham.  Years later, while tending his flock, Moses finds The Burning Bush where God tells him that he is the deliverer and must go back to Egypt.  Then you pop in disc two and wake your kids up for the more exciting half of the movie.

Honestly, all the most memorable parts of this film are in the second half: staff to snake, the plagues, parting of the Red Sea, golden calf party and angry Moses smashing the commandments, creating some crazy Hell’s crevice.  These scenes are your jelly bean popping/matzoh munching memory makers.

Of all the awards this film was nominated for, it only won for best special effects.  For 1956, these effects are pretty amazing.  The burning bush looks like it’s radiating like a sun within and out the bush.  The transition from staff to snake is pretty flawless.  And the clouds in the background always play a huge role, especially that sinister green ominous smokey hand in the sky coming down to take the first born.  The effects were so key to this film, that Cecil B. DeMille didn’t want to tell anyone his trick to parting the Red Sea.  Simply put, it’s two masses of water poured together into a basin, but the film is in reverse.  Today most of us can see that pretty easily, but it takes some real ingenuity to first figure that out.

I may rag on this film for being way too long and only being interesting in the second half, but it is done so well that I have to recommend it.  The story is in tact, it is visually engaging and the soundtrack is marvelous.  If you’re Jewish or not, the story of Passover is brought to life so well in a convicting and frightening way.  If you have surround-sound, crank it up and scare your kids with people randomly screaming in terror and agony.  Maybe this will bring a little more appreciation to their religion.

“Arise all Israel, behold the dawn of freedom!”

The Greatest Show on Earth

Cecil B. DeMille brings the circus to the movies in his second to last film ever.  Working with Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus, he created a drama centering around the big top, using actual circus performances within the film and making his actors learn their characters specific acts.  That meant that Gloria Grahame really had to put her head under an elephant’s foot.

The story follows a traveling circus.  Charlton Heston plays Brad, the leader of the whole circus who’s always thinking of the next show and all the details that go into making sure the show goes on.  Holly (Betty Hutton) tries to be his girlfriend, but Brad is more concerned with her trapeze act.  When Brad hires the famous Sebastian (Cornel Wilde) as the center ring trapeze act, Holly is upset and wants her spotlight back.  She and Sebastian start a live competition during their acts, trying to match and one-up each other forty feet in the air with no nets.  It’s daring, breathtaking and dangerous.  Brad looks on trying to decide when to pull the plug, but the audience is eating it up faster than cotton candy.  It’s only a matter of time before someone gets hurt.

My favorite role in this film is Jimmy Stewart as Buttons the Clown.  For viewers out getting popcorn during the opening credits, they might not notice that familiar face behind the clown makeup.  I think that was what DeMille was going for, especially when later in the film a picture of Stewart is shown.  I can just imagine people in the audience gasping, “That’s Jimmy Stewart, I didn’t know he was in this movie!”  I laughed at first, unable to imagine Stewart pulling off a decent clown, but was pleasantly surprised.  He’s fun and really great with the physical comedy.  Plus, it’s nice to see that he can wear floppy shoes and a goofy hat, rather than a suit.

The great thing about this film is the service DeMille did for thousands of kids to see the circus.  Circuses can’t possibly travel to every town, but nearly ever kid had heard of them.  So why not put Ringling Brothers on film and bring the circus to them?  A story even goes that Steven Spielberg’s father took him to see this film at four years old, telling little Steven that he was taking him to the circus.  I’m sure many of that generation had similar experiences.

Today, Ringling Brothers travels to arenas all over the country and very few circuses bring their own big-top.  The stunts are more dangerous and spectacular.  Many who see The Greatest Show on Earth now will laugh at the little circus parade and wonder when the sphere with motorcycles racing inside will happen.  But I hope that others can appreciate the colorful spectacle before them, enjoy the plot behind the scenes and remember DeMille for his beautiful accomplishment.  For kids and adults alike, this really was The Greatest Show on Earth.

“We bring you the circus, pied piper whose magic tunes greet children of all ages, from six to 60, into a tinsel and spun-candy world of reckless beauty and mounting laughter and whirling thrills.”

Ben Hur

In a word: Epic.  This is about as big as a movie can get.  With three hundred sets, over one million props, full scale ships on water, the chariot race and Jesus, Ben Hur set the bar for all epics.

The story is about Judah Ben Hur (Charlton Heston), a Jewish prince in Jerusalem.   His childhood friend, Messala, returns as a commanding officer for Rome and the two become enemies.  In an accident, Judah’s mother and sister are wrongfully imprisoned and he becomes a galley slave.  For three years he rows on Roman naval ships.  After saving his captain from shipwreck he is no longer a slave and races chariots, where he will race Messala.

Wait, I thought this was a story about Jesus?  Ah, well Jesus does intersect with Judah’s life a couple times, especially at his crucifixion.  It’s just, I hate to be the spoiler for those who haven’t seen Ben Hur yet.  Yes, this is a movie promoting Christianity, but it’s not all Jesus.  It’s also a better story and much easier to stomach than anything my Mel Gibson.

But I will say this: lepers! *cue dramatic music*  Growing up with this movie, the lepers always stayed in my head.  The way they wrap themselves in tattered rags, hide their faces and wallow around in caves like such lowly creatures.  They were so fascinating!  I remember when my sister was little, she’d get scared and cry whenever the lepers came on.  I don’t know if anyone else was freaked out by the lepers in Ben Hur, or even if they were meant to scare kids, but that’s how I’ll always remember them.

One of the greatest scenes in Ben Hur (in film history, in my opinion) is the chariot race.  I can hear smug kids who grew up with Nascar and CGI scoffing.  Horses on a dirt track?  Boring.  No.  This race is one of the most adrenaline pumping, nail biting, pupil dilating action scenes ever made.  And the most badass thing about it is that there was no CGI.  They’re really driving chariots, really bumping into each other and really flipping over.  In one close call, Heston’s stunt double was nearly thrown out of his chariot and had to climb back in.   Director Wyler loved the accident so much he put in the film.  Also, one of the few (and very expensive) 65mm cameras was destroyed while filming the chariot race.  There’s no music, just the thundering of hooves, cracking of whips and the crowd cheering.  With its quick style of editing, daring stunts and a bit of good ol’ cheating you’ll find yourself shouting and cheering like you’re sitting in the crowd.

If anything, see Ben Hur for the chariot race.  See if you’re little ones are scared of lepers.  And if I had to pick one day a year to watch Ben Hur, Good Friday seems appropriate.

“Once before, a man helped me. I didn’t know why then.”