Drag Me To Hell

Drag Me to Hell has become one of my favorite guilty pleasure movies.  It’s gotten to the point where if I find it on tv, I cannot turn it off.  The first time I saw it, I wasn’t sure if it would be a truly scary film that would give me nightmares or a campy modern eye-roller.  Happily, it lies in some beautiful spot in between.  It’s kinda scary, gives some great jump and shock moments and gets so outrageous you won’t know whether to laugh or look away in disgusted terror.  When I first borrowed this from Netflix, I held onto it for a whole week, just to show it to my when they visited.  Their reactions to the film were well worth it.

Christine Brown (Allison Lohman) is a normal young woman with her life going in all the right directions.  She has a supportive boyfriend, Clay (Justin Long), a good job at the bank and she’s in the middle of competing for a promotion.  When an elderly gypsy woman, Mrs Ganush (Lorna Raver) asks for another extension on her loan, Christine makes the tough decision to decline her.  The woman then causes a scene and later attacks Christine in her car, where she curses her.  Never cross a creepy old gypsy woman.  Soon Christine is plagued with nightmarish visions and shadows that seem to follow her.  Could the curse be real, or just superstition growing in Christine’s mind?

The old gypsy woman, complete with gooey false teeth and a dead eye, is wonderful fuel for ghoulish nightmares.  Not only is she creepy, but can attack viciously.  Her gross gummy mouth ends up on Christine in ways that you cannot believe, and usually won’t.  But that’s not the point, it is meant to gross you out, make you cringe and look away in horrified disbelief.  Or outrageous laughter.  God, I love it when she vomits maggots on Christine.

 Honestly, I love the outrageously gross moments and not always because I find them quite funny (at least after the initial viewing).  I think it’s a great use of horror that can balance surprisingly well between supernatural activity and blood chilling violence.  Best of all, there is a good amount of psychological horror also present in the film.  For a while, there’s the possibility that these events are only in Christine’s mind, the mystery grows and pulls us in well.  Small moments that may or may not be connected add so well to the feelings of uncertainty growing within Christine, and we feed off of them as well.

I won’t say Drag Me To Hell is Oscar worthy, it knows it’s not that kind of movie.  It’s a good horror story that isn’t afraid to get a little ridiculous.  Sam Raimi had fun making this film, and he knew exactly what he was creating.  It’s entertaining, pulls us in and lets us lose ourselves, kinda like going to a local haunted house.  It’s fun, some people may find it really scary, others might just laugh at the horror.  And either reaction is perfectly fine, as long as you’re having fun.

“I desire the soul of Christine Brown. We will feast upon it while she festers in the grave!”

Hocus Pocus

Whether they love it or loath it, every 90s kid knows Hocus Pocus.  My uncle took my sister and I along with his children to see it in theaters.  This was back in 1993, when I was nearly eight years old, a good age for this movie.  Nowadays, I’m surprised at the nostalgic joy I feel whenever I come across Hocus Pocus.  For those who just don’t get it, maybe this drinking game will help you get into the spirit.

Hocus Pocus begins with a quick look back in time at the legend of the Sanderson sisters.  In 1693 Salem, the trio of witches capture a girl and suck the life force out of her, restoring their youth before her brother, Thackery Binx (Sean Murray) could rescue her.  The witches curse young Binx to roam the world as a black cat and they are hanged by angry villagers.  However, right before their hanging, the witches plant a curse that could bring them back to feed off the lives of children again.  All they need is a virgin to light the black flame candle on a Halloween night.

In 1993 Salem, Max (Omri Katz) is a teenager who has just moved in from California.  He scoffs at all of these witchy stories that the town seems to thrive on, but that pretty girl in class, Allison (Vinessa Shaw), is smart and supportive of Salem’s haunted culture.  While Max is unhappily taking little sister, Dani (Thora Birch), out trick-or-treating, they run into Allison.  When she offers to take Max and Dani to see the old Sanderson sisters’ house, Max sees his chance to impress this girl and lights the black flame candle, sure that nothing would happen.  So much if Max was going to deny his virginity, cause the witches are back and looking for children.

I laugh more and more every time I see Hocus Pocus.  Some of these jokes I have always laughed at, like Mary (Kathy Najimy) riding a vacuum cleaner when they can’t find enough brooms.  Or the other moments where twentieth century technology scares the witches.  Then there are some sexual jokes I grew into that flew over my head in the theater.  Today, some of my favorite parts are the laughable way that witchy Sarah Jessica Parker hits on everything that moves and the absurdly 90s moments.  Anyone would be ashamed of any evidence that they once shaving “ICE” into the back of their head.

Though Hocus Pocus is one of those loud comedies for kids and adults that Disney made too many of in the 90s, I’ve always liked how this one holds up.  The story is partially character driven, giving Max the opportunity to prove that he is not really a selfish non-believer  but a brave boy and a good big brother.  While most Halloween nights, the parents would have to step in at some point, that is taken care of with a spell, cleverly disguised as a catchy tune at the town party.  Even Binx, from the very beginning, is part of the story as a helpful talking cat, but not used as a prop.  The only thing that has ever really bugged me is when Winnie (Bette Midler) lands in the cemetery towards the end.  Didn’t Binx say that witches cannot set foot on that hallowed ground?

I don’t expect my future children, or today’s kids, to love Hocus Pocus the way I do.  There is a silly nostalgia in it for me, it was a part of my childhood.  Regardless, it’s still great Halloween fun that kids and adults can enjoy without risking any nightmares.

“Aren’t you broads a little old to be trick or treating?”