Inglourious Basterds

More daring than a gritty war movie, is rewriting the history of WWII.  In Quentin Tarantino’s Inglorious Basterds, we are taken to Nazi occupied France where we meet SS officer Colonel Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz), nicknamed The Jew Hunter.  The riveting and mesmerizing opening scene establishes a few things: 1) Hans is very smart.  2) He’s viciously ruthless.  3)  He enjoys a good chase, leaving Shoshanna (Mélanie Laurent) to run.

Four years later, Shoshanna is the owner of a movie theater in Paris, where she is being forced to host the premier of the latest Nazi propaganda film Nations Pride.  The star of the film, young Nazi veteran Pvt. Fredrick Zoller (Daniel Brühl), lets his ego grow before his fame is known and tries to weasel a date Shoshanna.

Meanwhile, a band of American Jews, the Basterds, have been terrorizing the Nazis all across Europe.  Led by Lt. Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt), they collect scalps of Nazis they kill and leave any survivors forever marked with a swastika on their foreheads.  When they hear that Hitler and other major leaders of the Nazi party will all be attending a movie premier in Paris, they concoct a plan with movie star Bridget von Hammersmark (Diane Kruger) to get inside and set off explosives.  Little do they know that Shoshanna is planning to trap the Nazi’s within the theater and set the whole building on fire, with a spectacular surprise on the fourth reel.

If I wanted to compare the Oscars to a black tie affair, Tarantino always dresses his film in something slightly flashy and quirky, and is unwilling to compromise.  That’s what we love about his films and he fits right in, because he does this so well.  Here, he is turning WWII on its head, where a band of American Jews travel to Europe with a strict agenda to kick some Nazi ass and end up aiding in ending the war in a very different way than the history books read.  He also throws in his signature style of music and grind house inspired moments, like when we’re introduced to Hugo Stiglitz.  Even in this 1940’s setting, we don’t find these moments distracting because the whole film already has this quirky flare and each odd moment is done so quickly and cleanly.  To do this well takes practice, Tarantino has done a lot of that in his previous films.

Waltz is not a big, threatening looking guy, but he makes Hans look like a force to be reckoned with.  He is cunning, speaks many languages and is always looking out for himself, especially towards the end.  What I think really tipped the scales and made him the indisputable winner for best supporting actor was his ability to also be so funny.  That first scene is just starting to become very tense, and then he pulls out that ridiculous pipe and we can’t help but laugh, even though we’re nervous.  Right there, Hans puts on a funny hat and doesn’t even realize it, which makes it all the better.  And I dare anyone not to burst out laughing the first time they see the “Oooh, that’s a bingo!” scene.  I can’t remember another time that one simple line made me laugh so hard.

Do most people notice how much this story seems to circulate around the film industry?  The main plot is to trap all the Nazi leaders in a theater during their movie premier, in a fire fueled by highly combustible film.   There’s also Hammersmark, an actress who helps the Basterds gain entrance to the premier.  Then there’s the star of Nation’s Pride, who thinks that because he’s a big enough war hero to have his own Nazi propaganda film he can be with Shoshanna.  Thing is, all these movies, their stars and their political agendas need a place to be seen.

Even though Shoshanna is forced to hold the premier for Nation’s Pride, she ultimately decides what will be shown and how everyone will leave.  Tarantino makes a movie theater the ultimate weapon to end the war.  Imagine if more theater owners were so bold, you really have no idea how much your average theater employee can alter your visit.  I was part of that rat-race for four summers.  We really decide how much butter is on your corn or if your movie will be in the nice theater, the one that smells weird or the one with noisy crickets living behind the screen.  One of my favorite moments at work was to stand along the side of the theater, in the shadows and watch people like you during the best moments in the movies.  Why else do you think they make us wear such dark colors?  Honestly, I loved to see your reactions, some of you are quite entertaining.  That close-up shot of Hitler laughing like a maniac; I’ve seen many of you make similar faces.  And I think Tarantino knows it too.

“You know how you get to Carnegie Hall, don’t ya?  Practice.”

The Lives of a Bengal Lancer

The Lives of a Bengal Lancer is loosely based of Francis Yeats-Brown’s memoir about British soldiers protecting the boarders of India from rebellious natives.  In the Northwest Frontier, Colonel Stone (Guy Standing) runs a cold and efficient camp, allowing little ceremony or grieving for those lost in battles.  Lieutenant Alan McGregor (Gary Cooper) does not mind speaking his mind to Stone, making him look insubordinate.

When Lieutenant Forsythe (Franchot Tone) and Lieutenant Donald Stone (Richard Cromwell), the Colonel’s son, arrive they are befriended and taken under the wing of the experienced McGregor.  Colonel Stone treats his son coldly for the sake of business and avoiding any favoritism.  This causes the young Stone to act out and he becomes captured by the notorious Mohammed Khan (Douglass Dumbrille).  Colonel Stone decides not to send any men after his son, realizing that it is probably a trap.  This infuriates McGregor, so he and Forsythe disguise themselves as Indian peddlers in an attempt to rescue young Stone.

Honestly, this film is kinda boring.  It feels like the plot just jumps to little misadventures that don’t really matter in the main plot for a while, before it settles far too close to the end.  It was almost fun to see the guys fight over the only pretty girl within miles, but she had no purpose as a character.  Of course there has to be a snake charming gag, but it carries no merit.  Most of this film just feels like filler material that does not really drive the plot or develop these characters.

All day, I’ve been trying to put a finger on why I just did not like this film.  Perhaps it was too cold.  Had I turned the sound off, there would be hardly any way to tell any friendship between the men, much less any affection between the father and son.  Maybe there was just too much military business going on without much explanation as to the relationships between India and England.  Then I opened up this film’s Trivia page on IMDB and saw this right at the top: Reported to be Adolf Hitler’s favorite film.  Whatever he saw in this, I did not.  And I find that very reassuring for my morality and sanity.

“We have ways to make men talk.”

The Great Dictator

I think this film made me laugh more than any other film, ever.  There might be some close runners up, like Snakes on a Plane, or that time my sister and I watched Napoleon Dynamite at 1am on a tiny minivan tv.  Unlike those two, The Great Dictator filled me with genuine, healthy, non-cynical laughter.  And that just makes you feel good.

The story starts in 1918, where Chaplin’s character, The Jewish Barber, is serving in WWI for Germany.  He helps an officer escape certain capture in a plane, but when it crashes, he’s knocked out for years and then can’t remember a thing.  During the year’s The Jewish Barber is in the hospital, Chaplin’s other character, Adenoid Hynkel, becomes Dictator of Tomania.  For those intelligent people who’ve noticed that Chaplin’s Tramp looks a bit like Hitler, guess who Hynkel is supposed to be a parody of.  From here on, we see how Hynkel’s ideals oppress the Jews.   Soon The Jewish Barber returns to his shop, but hasn’t a clue what oppression is going on around him.  Thankfully, just before he’s hanged from a streetlight, his old friend Schultz, the officer in the plane crash, shows favor for his old friend.  After some more hilarity with Hitler –um, exuse me, Hynkel- he finds out that one of his officers has been too soft on the Barber, so he has both of them arrested and sent to camps.  Oh how will The Jewish Barber get out of this one?

First off, can you imagine the balls on Chaplin to make a film openly mocking Hitler just after his rise to power?  The film was so controversial that it was banned in most of Europe.  Oddly enough, and creepy as well, Hitler actually watched The Great Dictator, twice.  He saw this and still fucked up the world for five more years.  I guess if you’re too dumb for art school you certainly can’t understand a Chaplin film.

The comedy is hysterical.  It’s a perfect mix of slapstick and satire with all of Chaplin’s charm.  At times, it can be like watching a live-action Loony Tunes.  Huge guns malfunction and blow up an outhouse, instead of Notre Dame.  Tanks roll out of haystacks.  Famous statues have been altered to salute.  The funniest parts are with Hynkel in his palace.  He leaps across the room, scampers up curtains, peels and destroys a banana while yelling German sounding gibberish.  And there are some great Hynkel speeches, the best Hitler impersonation ever.  He barks and rants in the gibberish throwing in a few recognizable words like sauerkraut, wienerschnitzel and banana.  The speeches are hilariously interrupted now and then by a violent coughing fit, I mean, that’s what happens when you yell like that.

Now, how can Chaplin make Nazi Germany into a slapstick comedy?  Chaplin did say that he wasn’t aware of how horrible the reality under Hitler’s power was when he made the film, and if he had he would not have done it.  The horrible situation is not being made fun of, if anything, Chaplin sympathizes with the Jews and makes them the brave heroes of the film.  Hitler, his ideas and his influence are what is being mocked, and it’s done so well.

Towards the end, the slapstick comedy steps aside and a message of hope to the whole world is presented.  Some might roll their eyes at this soapbox scene, but at the time, this is what the world needed to hear and it becomes the core of the story.

I recommend this film to everyone.  Young and old will delight in the comedy and the political message isn’t too strong to bore anyone.

“Then I’ll sign it. A pen! Und stratz mit ze uldensackt. I’ll sign it! Napaloni, de grosse peanut, de cheesy ravioli. There!”