Taking a Toddler to the Movie Theater

Accurate depiction of toddlers after midnight.

This summer I have enjoyed taking my son to the local movie theaters to see cheap kids movies they play on weekend mornings.  It sounded like paradise at first; sit in a comfy air conditioned theater with my 2 year old as we share popcorn and enjoy some animated movies for just a few bucks.  

As kids do, he made it a bit more complicated than that.  I never expected that he would refuse to sit his entire first movie.  Or that he would drop his pacifier under the sticky seats.  Or would tell me for the first time in public ever that he needed to use the restroom, and once there refuse to even sit on the toilet.

Even with these bumps in the road, I have loved taking my son out to see movies together.  Not only are they a great outing away from the summer heat, but a perfect way to let him learn about going to theaters and enjoy some mom-approved movies.  But let me give some advice to anyone anxious about taking their kids to movies:

“Sit like a good Minion.”

Prepare your kid.  Tell your child exactly what a movie theater is and what you do there.  I told my son it was a big room with lots of seats and a huge tv to watch, and that excited him.  I also told him it would be dark once the movie started, and that’s why you have to stay in your seat.  I even found pictures of the Minions sitting in their seats for him to model.  

Get some snacks.  Most kids movies run about 90 minutes long, that’s such a long time for a kid to be quiet and still, so have snacks to keep them (and you) happy.  If you plan to visit the snack bar, tell your kid and make it sound like a special treat.  If not, don’t even mention it!  You don’t want to deal with the disappointment of hearing tales of fresh popcorn and candy and then not get any.  I had my diaper bag stuffed with a variety of my kid’s favorite snacks, just in case, and usually have to get a couple out.

Be familiar with the movie you are seeing.  Don’t just check out the ratings, PG films have the potential to be scary or violent in the eyes of a little kid.  Personally, I like to see the movie myself and decide if my kid can handle it.  If that won’t work, at least check out a few trailers or reviews.  

We didn’t make it through The Boxtrolls. Curse you, Snatcher!

Don’t go to a packed theater!  The 8 pm opening weekend showing is no place for a toddler’s first movie experience.  Test the waters on a weekday afternoon or find some morning showings that are specifically for young children.  I found that there are mostly moms with young kids and the occasional day care group at these, so everyone is pretty understanding.

Be flexible and patient.  Even after telling my son to sit “like a good Minion” he refused to sit most of his first movie.  Thankfully, he’s only 3 feet tall, no one was within a few rows of us and he didn’t run or climb.  I let him stand, but he could only have snacks while sitting.  The next movie, he sat the entire time (some of it was in my lap, but it’s progress).  If your little one is a little out of line, but not being a disturbance, play it by ear and use your best judgement.  

Snuff out disasters, but give it another try later.  So your kid is wailing in the theater or covered in a half gallon of soda or decided to army crawl under every seat in the theater to find more Skittles or, like mine did once, is yelling “Not like Boxtrolls!”  He or she isn’t the first (or last) kid to behave like that.  Deal out the warnings and/or your style of discipline (preferably out in the hallway).  If you have to, just throw in the towel and leave.  Nothing lets a kid know you’re serious like leaving.  We did not make it through the first hour of The Boxtrolls.  

The best part of The Iron Giant, obviously.

Enjoy it the best you can.  Watching my son discover the wonders of a movie theater was so much fun despite all the stress.  It was his first time eating popcorn, or sitting in a seat that might fold him up and it was the biggest “TV” he had ever seen.  And letting him sit on my lap as he narrated The Iron Giant, “Uh oh, robot eat train tracks!” was so cute.  

In the end, it wasn’t all about taking a break from the summer heat with a cheap, relaxing outing.  It was about sharing my interests with him in one of my favorite settings and introducing my kid to new films and characters he had never seen before.  He still talks about Snoopy dancing,  and pretends to be a robot eating metal.  Kids don’t stay little for long so I’m glad we made some fun summer movie memories.  Even if he did get stuck between the seats during Shaun the Sheep.

“Every day feels like summer with you!”

How a Film Enthusiast Prepares for Children

I wish I had found some camouflage maternity pants…

I realize things have been pretty slow here since Oscar season, but not without good reason.  I only have a couple of weeks (or less!) left before my bundle of joy bursts out of me Alien style and into the world.  My husband and I have been preparing for months in many ways.  Sure, most everyone gets a crib, some cute tiny clothes and a stockpile of diapers, dreaming of pushing a stroller and witnessing a child’s first everything.  But I’ve been taking it a bit further.

Slowly, I have gathered a decent blu-ray and dvd collection.  And the latest additions have all been treasured Disney and Pixar films.  From sweet classics like Bambi and The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh to modern greats like Finding Nemo and Brave, I hope to share these with my child, when the time comes.  Until then, they will still make good entertainment for me and background noise for baby that I can feel good about.  In fact, I hope to put Fantasia on within the baby’s first few days.

A staple in any childhood film collection.

I know one day, as junior becomes more technologically advanced, certain movies will have to be kept out of reach.  The Quentin Tarantio collection my husband and I have gathered won’t come out with little eyes and ears in range.  Just imagine the damage done in just a few minutes of Reservoir Dogs, Jaws or Saving Private Ryan.  We’ll get to those when the time comes, some in a decade or so, but no earlier.

I’m already wondering when to first take my child to a public screening setting.  Taking a baby to a movie theater never seemed right to me, so I know I’ll be out of the loop on new releases for a while.  My husband and I have already discussed how I’ll be going out on my own for most of next years Oscar nominated movies.  However, I am hoping our town continues to screen family classics in the park this summer.  Free, outdoors, informal and with other small children possibly being more disruptive than ours, what a paradise!

Bruce is a nice step as we work our way up to Jaws.

Of course there are some things I don’t want to rush into, got to make sure we put the horse before the cart.  This kid needs to learn to swim before seeing Jaws, it may not work the other way around.  We’ll try to read at least a few Harry Potter books before getting into the movies, as well as The Hobbit.  And I want to make sure this kid can name a few dinosaurs before jumping into Jurassic Park.

Perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself, but it’s all so exciting!  Am I the only one who is putting more thought in their child’s film future rather than what onsie to bring them home in?  What film experiences have other parents enjoyed or are looking forward to with their little ones?

We Need to Talk About Kevin

We Need to Talk About Kevin follows a mother as she meekly tries to get on with her life after an incident.  While we watch her struggle, she remembers raising her son, Kevin.

Only from seeing previews, posters and vague descriptions of the film, I thought I had a clear idea what this incident was.  You might too, but I’m not one to give it away.  You may be surprised.  And Kevin would hate it if I ruined any surprises.

The mother, Eva, is portrayed by Tilda Swinton.  I believe this is her greatest role, to date.  She makes Eva both a sympathetic character, but also very flawed.  The life she’s living, doesn’t seem to be the one she wants; married, with children in a big suburban house does not fit her.  She is stuck in constant resentment.  We understand her struggles with Kevin, but can’t always be on her side.  She is tense and intense as a mother, and after the incident, seems to have become a scared, meek shell of a woman.  The whole film is from her perspective, she bears the truths about Kevin like a reluctant Atlas, and even in her weakest, most destroyed moments has some unimaginable strength.

In flashbacks before her son is born, Eva is so full of life and energy.  She’s happy.  When Kevin is a baby, she seems frazzled, in over her head, and possibly suffering from post-partnum depression.  The fact that he always seems to be crying around her, but fine with his father, Frankin (John C. Reilly,) doesn’t help the situation.  As years pass, Eva tries to teach and connect with Kevin, but he’s stubborn and defiant even as a young toddler.  This only gets worse as he grows and it causes more clashes between mother and son.  When Kevin is a teenager (played by Erza Miller), it seems that Eva sees more potential in him.  She makes more of an effort to spend time with Kevin, but he coldly throws these moments of bonding into her face.

This film could bring up countless debates whether Kevin is the product of nature or nurture.  From the disturbing opening images of Eva in a tomato festival that looks more like a blood orgy, I got the idea that Kevin’s conception, or Eva as a whole, was somehow tainted.  Even at his youngest stages, Kevin seems full of hate and defiance, all directed only at his mother.  Though his mother tries to teach him, he doesn’t talk for a very long time.  The fact that Eva holds some resentment toward her son all his life does not bode well for nurture.  She tells him as a baby, “Mommy was happy before little Kevin came along.”  And the incident that finally potty-trains Kevin is downright child abuse.  I stand undecided.

We Need to Talk About Kevin can be a tough film to watch.  It certainly is not a feel good film.  In fact, some may see it as a parent’s worst nightmare.  However, it is very smart, both in script and how images in the present bring up memories of the past.  It does a great job of keeping everything connected and flowing naturally into a narrative, that could otherwise get confusing.  And Swinton leads the film with a startling, raw and powerful performance, I found Oscar worthy.

“Me and Kevin were playing Christmas kidnapping!”