The Final Destination Series

Recently, I decided to dive into a horror saga I neglected over the years. The Final Destination films, spanning from 2000 to 2011, each tell a story of a group of people who escape a horrific, multi-casualty accident because one of them sees a premonition of minutes before. In the original, it’s a plane exploding just after take-off, another is a huge interstate pileup. They get more epic down the line. And of course I remember the commercials and previews and as a teen and young adult. Sadly, I wrote them off. Until now. I was captivated and loved the first film so much I couldn’t wait to dive into the sequels. To put it bluntly, The Final Destination movies are a Rube Goldberg machine of death. I can’t look away and I love it. 

#1. Final Destination (2000): I was surprised how much I genuinely enjoyed the first Final Destination film. The element of suspense is used well and the initial plane crash scene is well done and believable. I love that this really establishes the whole “death has a design.” theme for the series. You feel genuine suspense and terror as death creeps closer to each survivor. Maybe it’s the greasy faces, baggy clothes, gravity defying bangs, but I really enjoyed seeing a horror movie with teenage characters that actually looked like the teenagers I grew up with. Favorite death: beheaded by scrap metal. 

#2. Final Destination 2 (2003): This film features the infamous log-truck accident, which is basically what I imagine every time I have to merge onto I-465. Tony Todd (aka, candy man) is back with a great cameo. And I enjoy the cop trying to help the protagonist and the wild array of freak accident deaths. Favorite death: surprise airbag deployment. 

#3. Final Destination 3 (2006): The third movie goes off the rails in every way possible. Literally. A roller coaster accident sets the events in motion. But what makes this movie stand out from the others is that pictures hold the clues to each death. There are lots of crazy, high speed, intense, death scenes. Sometimes it’s a bit over the top. And honestly, this movie is kinda bad, but so bad that it’s good. Still a very fun horror movie. Favorite death: brain sliced apart by a car engine. 

#4. The Final Destination (2009): Ok, I’ll admit, this one is the worst of the bunch, but it’s still enjoyable. I mean, a Nascar race disaster setting everything off? And later one guy gets his guts sucked out of his butthole and spewed all over the public pool? It’s so bad, it’s laughable. And the obvious 3D gags are hilarious. Favorite death: getting diced on the fence. 

#5. Final Destination 5 (2011): As bad as #4 was, I think the creators here for Final Destination 5 knew to pull back on the laughable effects. Here, a bridge collapse sets everything in motion and instead of focusing on teens, it’s a group of young adults. Maybe this is to bring the original 2000 audience back? It works, and one of the big hooks now is that one of the survivors tries to murder his way out. Fun! And honestly, the big twist at the end, pulling the whole series together, makes watching all the movies totally worth it. Favorite death: acupuncture nightmare. 

What really sets the Final Destination series apart from other horror franchise is that instead of relying on a recurring character/monster, it’s a reoccurring chain of horrific freak accidents. And while far fetched or unlikely, we see how these horrifying moments can happen in real life. No two deaths are the same. The blood and gore are not spared. Most adults don’t really worry about Jason or Freddy coming to get them, but now I do genuinely fear log trucks. And nail guns. And rocks being slung by a lawnmower. And escalators. And airbags. And and and….

Bodies Bodies Bodies

In Bodies Bodies Bodies a group of young friends have a hurricane party at their wealthy friend’s parent’s house out in the middle of nowhere. They’re equipped with flashlights, extra batteries, booze and an array of drugs. As the storm sets in and the night heats up, they decide to play a game: Bodies Bodies Bodies. It’s a typical murder mystery party game: one person is the murderer, they pick off victims one by one when alone. But after the power goes out, they find a friend with his throat slit. And soon a murder mystery game becomes a night of survival. 

From the moment Sophie (Amanda Stenberg) and her new girlfriend, Bee (Maria Bakalova) arrive you can feel the tension suddenly set in. Is it because Sophie didn’t tell them she was coming? Or do they not like Bee? Whatever it is, playing Bodies Bodies Bodies doesn’t help. And of course, finding a dead friend means all the shit hits the fan. We see how fake these friendships are, how much hostility they hold against one another. Eventually anyone left alive is pitted against everyone else to defend themselves against murder accusations. 

At times I found the young women in this movie to be hilariously annoying and tone deaf. But the thing is, I wasn’t sure if that is the joke. Granted, there were maybe 4 other people in the theater at 12:30 on a Tuesday, so I didn’t hear much laughing with me. But much of the time I couldn’t tell if the tone of certain scenes were supposed to be serious or laughable. Anything with Alice (Rachel Snennott) was obviously funny. Alice is a mess. She’s hilarious, matching the bright and loud vibe of her neon glow necklaces and bracelets. The fact that she invites a man that she met on Tinder who is twice her age to this hurricane party is worrying, but how she tells us about him after 2 weeks is “He’s a Libra moon” is hilarious! It tells us all about her priorities. 

At some points, the drama feels like the comradery and betrayals of a teenage sleepover. It’s all fun and games while drinks are flowing, but then the lights go out. The dark gets to you. The lack of communication and cliques that form can be isolating. They turn on each other, bring up shitty moments from their past and poke at small holes in their friendships until they rip apart. It’s an intriguing look at the dark drama of petty young friendships. 

While I enjoyed Bodies Bodies Bodies, I don’t see this film going down in horror movie history in the kindest light. While I think the way it portrays these rich, young people is hilarious, it’s kinda sad and embarrassing. There is so much unnecessary blood and drama over TikToks, pranks, drugs, friendships and relationships that should’ve ended years ago. When the morning light comes and the movie ends, it leaves us laughing at the characters, not with them. 

“Alice I’m literally just protecting myself ok. Let me remind you, our friend is dead. So if you could just like, not escalate the situation”

The Black Phone

The Black Phone hit me hard in my suburban parent gut. The story revolves around a serial kidnapper the kids dubbed The Grabber. In this quiet 1978 suburban town, The Grabber takes tween boys walking alone, or right off their bikes in the middle of their paper route. No one knows what happens to the boys, they just disappear, replaced with missing posters, their faces plastered all over the neighborhood. A creepy story like this is enough to scare any parent, so much so for me that I had an extensive stranger-danger talk with my older boy, complete with a few defensive maneuvers.

After establishing The Grabber, the quaint town, the harsh realities these kids face and the sister’s vague psychic abilities, Finney (Mason Thames) is taken. He comes to in a dark, barren basement, on a grungy bare mattress. There’s a barred window, a toilet, a locked door and a black phone hanging on the wall. Finney tries the phone to call for help, but it is silent. His masked captor, who visits periodically and lingers in a creepy, menacing way, tells him that the phone doesn’t work. Never has. 

But then, once Finney is alone, the phone rings. One of The Grabber’s previous victims is on the other end. They give Finney cryptic advice and share how they tried to escape. Each time the phone rings, it’s a different dead boy, in the order they were taken, trying to help Finney and trying to avenge their own death. During some calls we even see the dead boy talking to Finney, a creepy specter giving this horror movie vital visuals to its supernatural element.

As far as horror movie baddies go, Ethan Hawke’s performance as The Grabber is top notch and one of my favorite performances of his. In Finney’s kidnapping scene, his casual clumsiness disarms the boy so easily, even we’re drawn in a bit. Hawke seems perfectly at home being so casually creepy. One of my favorite moments was when Finney wakes up to find The Grabber just watching him sleep. It can be hard to create a character behind a mask without using it as a crutch, but Hawke does an amazing job working with the mask to enhance his menace. I really hope to find that creepy mask at Spirit Halloween. 

I loved The Black Phone and think it is a great new horror film. It boasts a perfect balance between horrific reality and the scary supernatural. Young Thames’s performance is believable and makes us root for him against Hawke, who gives us a creepy character we love to hate. The perspectives between Finney and his sister round out this movie and perfectly unfold this terrifying mystery until the very end. Add The Black Phone to your spooky season watch list and then never walk alone again.

“Wanna see a magic trick?”

Trick ‘r Treat

At the local Halloween store this year, I noticed a prominent figure I did not know. Everyone can recognize the Freddy Krueger gloves, the Michael and Jason masks, but this child sized animatronic in orange pajamas and a burlap sack over his head was not within my horror movie knowledge. I immediately wanted to find out more about cute and mysterious little Sam and his sweet orange lollipop. 

Turns out, he’s from a movie called Trick ‘r Treat that sadly never made it to theaters. I guess that’s why so many don’t recognize Sam. Trick ‘r Treat was supposed to be released in October 2007 but Warner Bros suddenly pulled it and the film was eventually released straight to DVD in 2009. I found this disrespected gem of a Halloween film currently streaming on HBO.

The film shows us five intertwining stories of a Halloween night in Ohio. We see a father teaching his son how to celebrate the holiday, in their own gruesome manner. There are a group of kids tricking an outcast girl who later get a taste of their own candy. A group of ravenous young women look for unsuspecting dates for the big night. And an old man is terrorized by Halloween spirits of the past. And Sam is along for the ride in some way in each story. 

The story of the kids on the bus made me cry and not in a fun, happy Halloween way. That bit was almost too much, knowing those poor kids behind the masks were sadly just disabled and restrained in their seats like that. I have a feeling it may have been that story that kept this film out of theaters. 

While the film can be a bit messy at times, I think this is one of the best celebrations of Halloween seen in recent film. It has stories engaging all ages (though this is definitely NOT a movie for children), all of them showing different ways to celebrate Halloween. I also love the comic book style opening showing us the rules of Halloween. I’d like to add Sam’s lollipop to my Halloween decor. If you’re into a modern, violent and gory twist on Halloween traditions like pumpkin carving, trick or treating or just partying then Trick ‘r Treat may be a fun Halloween treat for you.

“Never blow out a jack-o-lantern.”

Halloween Kills

Forty years after that fateful Halloween night that killed Laurie’s friends, Michael comes home again. This time, the people of Haddonfield are ready to fight back.

The movie picks up just at the end of Halloween (2018) and skims over what happened there. Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis) has a daughter, Karen (Judy Greer) and granddaughter Allyson (Andi Matichak) now. It seems their family home became a trap for Michael earlier that night when he finally hunted Laurie down, complete with bars that sealed him into the basement. Shown through some messy flashbacks, the family set fire to the house, believing that they finally killed him. After all, there was no way anyone could survive that, right? 

The poor firefighters called to the scene soon become Michael’s next victims, their corpses sprawled out in front of the burning house. Visually, it’s pretty cool and we enjoy how gruesome it is. But I guess people are not happy that firefighters are being so brutally murdered in movies. Decades of innocent teenage girls can die, but it’s fictional firefighters we can’t allow, right?

Meanwhile, at the local bar, survivors of Michael’s initial attack reminisce and relax until the local TV starts reporting about the house fire and the slain firefighters. Now middle aged Tommy Doyle (Anthony Michael Hall) and his friends realize Michael is back and prepare to fight back. Fueled with vengeance and Halloween booze, they take to the streets. In an attempt to protect kids at the playground, one group gets picked off one by one. Their deaths bring horror fans joy.

We catch up with Laurie and her family at the hospital, where Laurie undergoes surgery for wounds we assume Michael inflicted. As Michael’s attacks add up, it fills the emergency room. The hospital becomes overrun with victims, people searching for loved ones and the vengeful mob led by Tommy Doyle. And soon Micheal isn’t the only one taking innocent lives.

Two characters I really enjoyed and was almost sad to see die were the gay couple who reside in the old Myers’ house, Big John (Scott MacArthur) and Little John (Michael McDonald). We see they’re good, quirky, sweet people, even running out to help kids they thought were in trouble. But sadly, they aren’t good at locking doors. I could watch a whole series about how they decided to live in that house and then renovated it themselves (or with some helpful lesbian friends who knew to be out of town on Halloween). But seriously, who would live in an infamous murderer’s childhood home? 

Honestly, Halloween Kills is not a good, well thought out, or at all suspenseful horror film, but I still enjoyed it. What can I say? I love the gore, the horror and Michael’s almost random killings as he makes his way back home.

“Evil dies tonight!”

Candyman (2021)

Nia DaCosta’s anticipated sequel to the 90s horror film is a refreshing new chapter to the Candyman story. The film takes place about thirty years after the original, in the same Chicago neighborhood, but it’s now gentrified. Anthony (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) is a young artist, looking for inspiration when he hears the story of Candyman. He dives deeper, trying to understand more about the local legend and meets William Burke (Colman Domingo) who tells him more. Inspired, Anthony incorporates the idea of Candyman, including how to summon him, into his artwork titled “Say My Name.” At the gallery opening, his work and talent is initially shrugged off by the local critic and outright blasted by the gallery owner. But when a mysterious murder happens in the gallery and the butchered bodies are found directly infront of Anthony’s work, Anthony’s reputation and the Candyman legend starts to spead like a virus. 

One of my favorite aspects of this film is the use of mirrors. In the original, mirrors are simply a portal, a means to summon Candyman. That’s true here in this sequel, but mirrors are also where we can visibly see Candyman. Without them the disturbing images of throats being ripped out by his hook just happen by an invisible force, which is also visually cool and frightening. You begin to seek out the mirrors in the film, looking for a glimpse of Candyman lurking, and sometimes you’ll find him! There’s also a great scene with Anthony looking at himself in a mirror where we really understand what is happening with that infected bee sting. 

What DaCosta’s Candyman does best is give the Candyman story back to the black community. It felt riduclous to me that the original focused on a white woman when Candyman was born out of slavery and generations of racial injustice. Even the characters comment on the story of Helen, saying no one cared until a white woman got involved. But here, Domingo’s character passes along the story to Anthony, who’s destined to be part of it more than he knows, and the film actually acknowledges the racist history of Candyman and the impoverished neighborhoods he comes from. Here, Candyman finally feels like a horror movie born out of the black experience, complete with generational “swarms” of police or white mobs to murder each suspected Candyman. The artwork’s title Say My Name comes full circle by the end of the film, not just to summon Candyman, but to never silence the countless victims of white mobs and police violence.

As a horror movie, DaCosta’s Candyman is an enjoyable, suspenseful, bloody ride bringing Candyman higher into the horror pantheon. Tony Todd does a wonderful job reprising the title role nearly 30 years later. The scares and gore were enough to make me jump and look away at times in the theater. And I will be making my husband sit down and watch this with me, so I can see his reaction. I think he’ll especially enjoy the scenes in the girls’ bathroom and in the elevator.

“They will say I shed innocent blood. You are far from innocent but they will say you are. That’s all that matters.”

Candyman (1992)

While I’m a lifelong horror fan, somehow I’ve never seen Candyman. It’s understandable to have this blindspot; the original film came out when I was still in elementary school and the name Candyman doesn’t just hold as much street cred as names like Jason, Freddy or Leatherface. But in eager anticipation of the horror film’s next chapter, I made it a priority to seek out the 1992 Candyman. Let’s just say I was entertained, but not impressed.

When a smart, scholarly white woman,  Helen Lyle (Virginia Madsen) decides to study urban legends, she turns her curiosity to Candyman. The locals say if you say his name 5 times he’ll appear, hook hand and all and kill you. But she’s too intelligent to really believe in all that. Until she dives a bit deeper, investigating the scene of one of his supposed murders and discovers a rabbit hole she can’t climb out of. Worse, she seems to be going crazy and people believe she’s murdered an innocent baby.

There is so much potential to this story, but I feel like this movie doesn’t quite make the mark. There are these intriguing ideas of how urban legends spring from truth then morph and spread. We understand how that gives them power, how Candyman feeds on that power. But these ideas don’t really come to fruition and by the story’s end we’re left wanting more. 

Director Bernard Rose’s vision for Candyman feels limited at best. He takes a black urban legend and sticks a white lady in the middle of it. Admittedly, it puts her in her unfamiliar territory, a disadvantage. But I feel as though Rose is disadvantaged as well. Afican American urban legends and horror born out of generations of slavery and racism dont feel authentic told out of the mouths of a European white man. 

Something in the 90s gave movies the green light to be overly sexual about everything. Helen’s husband having an affair with a student is one layer. Candyman’s abduction of Hellen is a whole different one, and honestly it’s intriguing, feels bolder and I welcome it. But the needless boob shots, especially the ones when Helen is covered in blood feel needless and intrusive. We get it, it’s the 90s and movie directors used women as objects. This makes me look forward to what Nia DeCosta can bring to the table in her film.

As an individual film, the 1992 Candyman is entertaining enough. I got very invested, wondering what would happen next, enjoyed the blood and horror and very much enjoyed the very 90s jump scares. I look forward to DaCosta’s take in this very intriguing horror story/ urban legend. 

“The pain, I can assure you, will be exquisite. As for our deaths, there is nothing to fear. Our names will be written on a thousand walls. Our crimes told and retold by our faithful believers. We shall die together in front of their very eyes and give them something to be haunted by. Come with me and be immortal.” 

Death Becomes Her

Meryl Streep, Goldie Hawn and Bruce Willis star in this wonderfully weird, dark comedy about vanity, revenge and immortality. When talentless stage-starlet Madaline (Streep) steals Helen’s (Hawn) fiance, Ernest (Willis), Helen goes mad plotting revenge. Several years of marriage later, Ernest is a Beverly Hills undertaker and Madaline is washed up and unhappily aging. When they meet Helen again at her book launch party, they expect to find a frumpier version of her. Instead she is more gorgeous than ever, tempting Ernest and driving Madaline mad with jealousy. 

After the party, in a moment of fragile vanity, Madaline seeks out what she assumed was a very exclusive beauty treatment. It leads her to a huge mansion where she learns about a potion that will make her young and beautiful forever. Meanwhile, Helen is busy seducing Ernest and plotting to dispose of Madaline. But this new gift of immortality will complicate their plans and turns out to be more of a curse.

The special effects in this film are pretty advanced and convincing for 1992. The film even won the Oscar for visual effects. They really help deliver the supernatural and gruesome aspects of the film. When the potion is used, it gives off a strange glow as it travels through the body, illuminating veins and deaging the actors before our eyes. Seeing Hawn walk around with a huge hole right through her abdomen, or Streep with her neck so twisted her head is facing the opposite direction can be a sickening sight. It’s the acting that brings out the hilarious dark comedy in these moments, like Streep, not realizing her head is backwards, looking down and crying, “My ass!” 

Bruce Willis’s performance in Death Becomes Her is one of my favorites of his to date. His portrayal makes Ernest so dorky, goofy, and just sad enough to make the audience empathetic. The moments that go nearly over-the-top always bring a good laugh. While at the beginning he seems to be stumbling into some fantasy of having two women fight over him, he ends up in a nightmare where both the women are literally falling apart and depend on him for his undertaker beauty techniques. When tempted to drink the potion, he hilariously questions immortality with “What if I get bored?!” Which is a lot more than the ladies questioned, but makes all the difference. 

In the Halloween season, Death Becomes Her is a funny, twisted piece of light horror. The gothic and gaudy mansions of Beverly Hills in the early 90s are a perfect setting for this modern monster movie. With the gore, love triangle themes and strong sexual references, I wouldn’t consider this a movie for the whole family, but perfect for a fun date night on the couch. 

“Where did you put my wife? The morgue? She’ll be furious!”

Annabelle

Branching out The Conjuring series, Annabelle tells the story of a young couple and a doll that becomes possessed with evil. Mia (Annabelle Wallis) and John (Ward Horton) are a picture perfect couple living in the California suburbs. Mia is adorably pregnant and John is dutifully sweet, even giving his wife a new doll for her collection decorating the nursery. One night they’re awakened by screams. As John investigates, murderers from a satanic cult attack Mia, stabbing her belly. In the nursery, one of the murders slits her own throat while holding the new doll. 

We’re led to believe that this is how the title doll became possessed with an evil spirit. I’m no expert on the fabled Annabelle Raggedy Anne doll that has been kept in a locked cabinet in the Warren’s home and blessed by a priest twice a month, but I think this particular story is not based in fact and purely it’s own yarn. To me, that takes some of the air out of this particular story, especially since most of the others within this Conjuring universe are based on real paranormal cases the Warrens have worked on. 

However, while watching the film I was genuinely interested and engaged. I was genuinely worried during the home invasion scene. The jump scares with the dolls were fun. And I enjoyed yelling at Mia from my couch, asking her over and over why she left that baby alone, again. While this is an enjoyable horror movie, it’s just not that scary. 

However, if you’re a new mom, this movie could be downright terrifying. I would advise that pregnant women and new moms not watch Annabelle, it can be very stressful to see a young mother struggle with this madness and a baby in danger. This could really trigger some postpartum depression and anxiety.

The one scene that I found genuinely frightening was the basement elevator scene. Here, there is a sense of foreboding and terror not just in the situation but with the creepy basement setting, which isn’t something we get in the cozy house or apartment. I was not surprised that Conjuring director James Wan directed this scene. 

In the end, I find myself comparing Annabelle to a chili (yes, I know this is an odd comparison). It’s got all the ingredients for a great horror film, and I enjoyed it in the moment, but afterward I was asking if maybe it should have simmered longer. And what’s up with the hint of rosemary? There’s so much here pointing Rosemary’s Baby, (John and Mia, a satanic cult wanting the baby, ties to the Mansion murders) but the connections seem to have loose ends. I want to check out the next two Annabelle movies out of curiosity, but I don’t expect them to be much better. 

“I’m old. Which means there’s very little that surprises me anymore and if it does, I’m too tired to show it.”

Summer of ’84

François Simard and Anouk Whissell’s 2018 film Summer of 84 is a surprisingly dark tale of American suburbia. The 80s nostalgia factor makes it kind of like a Stranger Things grounded in reality. The story of a kid across the cul-de-sac spying on his neighbor gives the film a suspenseful Rear Window/Disturbia vibe. And the fact that our suspected villain is a police officer is a modern twist on what we expect from authorities we’re told to trust. 

In the summer of 1984 fifteen year old Davey (Graham Verchere) lives in a peaceful, quiet suburb. He rides his bike to deliver his paper route and plays Manhunt, a form of flashlight tag, with his friends after dark. Everything seems ideal on his cul-de-sac, until another teenage boy is reported missing. Soon Davey suspects his neighbor is the serial killer behind all the missing boys. He enlists his friends to help him spy and collect evidence against him. 

This isn’t just any neighbor, Mr. Mackey (Rich Sommer) is a local police officer. He’s lived in the neighborhood long enough to remember Davey as a baby. He’s earned the trust of all the neighbors and community. Still, Davey keeps snooping and finding more and more damning evidence.  Will the adults believe Davey or will he become the Cape May Slayer’s next victim?

The story would be nothing without a fun cast of characters. Honestly, Davey and his friends border on cookie cutter but never fall flat. There’s Tommy aka Eats (Judah Lewis) the kid cracking crude jokes, Curtis (Cory Gruter-Andrew) the worry wart, Woody (Caleb Emery) who looks older, bigger and used to drive stakeout cars. And, of course, there’s Nikki (Tiera Skovbye), the girl next door that gets mixed up in the boy’s spying. And we love to hate the creepy Mackey. The film lets you keep guessing for a while, but I knew that guy was a creep when he sat out on his lawn to watch the neighborhood kids play. It’s an unwritten rule that you just don’t do that unless you’re watching your own kids play. 

I went into Summer of 84 out of curiosity and because I’m trying to watch more films directed (in this case co-directed) by women. What I found was a solidly creepy piece of mystery, suspense and horror. The scare factor is low for most of the film, relying on jump scares much of the time, but quickly cranks up the intensity toward the end. For a good horror film set in reality that will leave you with the creeps, seek out Summer of 84. (I found it on Kanopy, one of my favorite streaming services, free for most library members!)

“You know you can get AIDS from looking through trash, right?”